Curse

Hell Razorzz · Sep 06, 2006, 12:46 AM // 00:46

Wow, Ristaron... this post is just a **little** bit different than the one i recieved from my subscription :-p lol.... but like i said, I'm probably not going to work on this story for a while. Have too much stuff to do atm **cough cough** school **cough cough** lol.... well, my comps still getting worked on >< so the stuff i need to look at for my stories... I CANT!!! lol... well GuildWiki.org is a lot of help, but i like to see the skills in ACTION so that i can describe them better.... so it'll probably be a while be4 i can do NETHING **so what if im a procrastinator?** well, thats al the news atm... latr everyone.....
Hell

Ristaron · Sep 06, 2006, 10:17 PM // 22:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hell Razorzz

Wow, Ristaron... this post is just a **little** bit different than the one i recieved from my subscription :-p lol....

I decided to change it for the sake of not starting an even worse argument. I hope you don't mind.

D E E Z · Sep 20, 2006, 06:22 AM // 06:22

You people are idiots Hell nice story i liked it since i love playing MM as for you Crow and Ristaron STOP FIGHTING HERE this guy posted this to have people read it and critic if they so pleased but that doesnt mean he wanted people to come fight each other and argue over small meadocre things Crows work is fine its actually pretty good for 13 i couldnt write that well at 13 and as far as his comment on his characters "speaking" to him well its true try to write something and i bet it will come out like crap if you dont let your characters make their own path and besides that songs and lyrics in perticular are only what you make of them if thats what the song was written about ot not you dont have to make things so 1 dimensional things have depth if you let them when you listen to beats and rythme you take what you want from it and thats probably nothing like anyone elses opinion on it so look deeper if your going to complain cause if you do youll see no one cares Deez

Minus Sign · Sep 20, 2006, 05:46 PM // 17:46

I think this story is a very good early attempt. I would like to offer a few suggestions that will help you grow.

First; Storm Crow is correct about adjective use. However, I disagree that your problem is too many. I think you’re having trouble finding the “right” words to describe your actions. As an adult who has had experience making my way over the adolescent hurdle, I will tell you that much of my early writing was spent searching for the right word to describe what I saw in my head. I’d strain for words, quest them out. And when I found them, the feel was still slightly “less” than what I pictured.

Also: you as much as admit glossing over the best parts of your piece. When a reader reads “While this battle had been raging” in a combat piece, they tend to think to themselves “Oh. So I missed the best part?”

This is a common theme among less experienced writers (myself included). We tend to avoid some of the things we see, afraid that in trying to put them down we will not do them justice.

It’s a vicious cycle. We don’t have the words to tell our story as we see it, so we cut more and more out until—all too often—the story goes untold.

What a writer needs to remember is this one question: If I don’t tell it—and tell it all—what justice does that serve my story?

There are a few ways to get through this. The first is just to write. Not just when you’re at your computer. All the time. Keep a small notepad that will fit in a pocket and a pen with you. Carry them everywhere. What happens to the good line you thought up in the bathroom if you don’t? We all know the answer: it gets flushed.

Searching for imagery after the fact is like grasping at smoke on a foggy day. You know it’s out there; you saw it clearly once. But its mingled with everything else to the point that you can’t tell where one part ends and the other begins. So be ready—with pen and paper at hand—to grab it the instant you see it.

The next is to read. Always read, and read the things you want to write. See what worked from those who have been down the road you wish to travel. Don’t steal their words or images, mind, but watch them for a blueprint of the story you want to build.

The last is put as many tools in your toolbox as you can. Thesaurus, dictionary, wikis of all kinds. These are excellent reference material for the words you want to use and the images you want to show. Look at a picture of a lion’s claw before you describe it. Go to a zoo; watch it pace back and forth and look into its hungry eyes. The alternative is to be the proverbial blind man describing an elephant. readers won't know if its a snake, a tree or what. They won't know because you don't yet.

The best inspiration comes all around you; the greatest images are found with your own eyes. Remember that, search for that, and your work will improve ten fold.

I hope this helps. Good job with this piece and I hope to read more and watch you grow.